Fabric Addict

My name is Sam and I am a fabric addict, more over, I'm a :

I see it, and I need it. And what is worse my Husband enables me. He brought me home this all in one day last week:

And this is why we began Verri Vintage over a year ago. A means of constantly destashing so we don't become crushed my our mountainous piles of pretty, soft, retro, vintage, floral, scrummy (ok starting to drool..)fabric.

And while Ryan does say it's ok:

Sometimes it is best to share out the love a little.

Scared

I'm running the Hills to Henley tomorrow. It's a 30km fun run from Athelstone Primary School to Henley Sailing club. I am scared.

When I was at work on Tuesday I felt the first signs of a cold, my worst nightmare at this late stage in my training for the Adelaide Marathon.

I downed four cups of hot lemon juice and water while I was at work and woke up feeling fine Wednesday... then stupidly didn't bother to think about it again and unfortunately woke up on Thursday with a full blown cold.

I stayed home sick on Friday and went to see my Doctor, who raised his eye brows and shook his head at me when I insisted that I would be fine to run on Sunday. He sighed and said "You are going to do it no matter what I say aren't you?". He got a resounding yes, 30kms is part of my training regime and I *need* to do it this weekend. So with the promise that I wont try my hardest (LOL!) I'm allowed to run.

I tried a bit of this as medicine:

And I feel quite confident that it was the right idea.

I am stil scared though.... imagine how it's going to feel in three weeks time.

Sweet Dreams - Or Lack There Of.

This is my happy place...

My bedroom... or more specifically my bed. Now get your mind out of the gutter, it's because this is the place where I get to sleep.

Anyone who has known me pre-children will know just how much I like my sleep. I was the girl who would sleep late, read in bed in the afternoon, take a nana-nap if I thought a big night was on the cards (or turn into a pumpkin at midnight so I could head to bed), and I would sleep so soundly, not even an earthquake would wake me.

Then came Miss D. She was a typical newborn, and we had the standard first 8 weeks of sleep deprivation, entirely expected. What I didn't expect was that she wouldn't sleep during the day either. Around the 8 week mark she started to settle a bit and we started getting glorious 5 and 6 hour stretches of sleep, she still wouldn't sleep during the day, but it was alot easier to handle with a little extra sleep under the belt at night time. But alas, it all went pear shaped at around 4 months. No sleep, ever. And it stayed that way.

D had chronic ear infections which,as we all know, are absolute agony. Always so much worse when one goes to lie down. During the day I would get her to have a small nap lying on me (something she did until I was so pregnant with Miss M that at 18 months she would no longer lie down on me and started dropping day time naps.)Night times were just impossible. I have a vivid memory of passing out on the floor next to her bed one night because I was so tired, I was about 8 months pregnant, so to say I woke up uncomfortable is an understatement.

I remember just before M was born someone asking me how I felt going back to those sleepless nights with a newborn. My answer? "How could it be any different from right now?".

It was different, M fed every two hours and at 8 months was still having several feeds during the night. She was such a hungry little monkey (incidently that hasn't changed I hear say "I'm Hoooooongry Mumma!" about a 1000 times a day). The difference was that she slept really well during the time she wasn't feeding, and so long as she was in her own bed her day time sleeps were fantastic.

M arriving, and sharing a room with D had an amazing effect on her, she began sleeping through the night. However by this time we had such a firm ingrained bed-time routine, we found that it was impossible to alter it even slightly with out getting a sleep-less night from her. This is something that has remained, and now even at 4 we find that if she has a slightly late night, sleeps in a different bed or even doesn't have a cup of milk before bed we pay for it for days.

In four years it is safe to say that we have only had a handful of full nights of sleep, most of them recently. I realise that many others have experienced, or are experiencing this now.... it's nothing new or special. What I will say though is that it has had a profound effect on Luke and I. We have both become quite sensitive about the subject of sleep. When out, we like to have dinner early, so we can get the girls home to bed at the right time. We will often have friends over for late lunch rather than dinner so we don't mess up bed time, and if we are somewhere and our kids are tired, we will leave, no questions asked. Sometimes I get cross with myself for being so regimented about it all and throw caution to the wind and mess with the routine. It always, always backfires.

There have been some upsides, now when I do nightshift I find that I can (usually) withstand a week of literally no sleep with out bursting into tears. I can function really well on so much less sleep and have discovered that there are so many more hours in the day to get things done. Most importantly, I will never again comment or pass judgement on the way another parent deals with bedtime.... I say do what you have to do to keep everyone happy. If, in this house it means that sometimes we have to cut a night out short, or leave a party because M needs a nap, to ensure a semi-decent night sleep, We will do it.It wont be forever after all.

My Own Fun - No More Borrowing

I was directed to a very interesting blog post yesterday by Natatsha Burns about image theft and copying. You can read it here

It got me thinking about my own use of images and how I had inadvertantly been theiving the work of others by posting images and not referencing them on Facebook. It was of course something that had never occured to me, saving a pic found on Pinterest here and there and then posting them on my page, I never saw anything wrong with it. Then I read this article and a slow blush crept up on my face and I felt sick realsing what I had done.

Now honestly I am a bit of an over-reactor, I take things pretty hard, and I really do need to learn not to stress so much, but this realisation really got to me. I have been copied before, I have also had my own images shown but not referenced and these are things that rather than have made me angry have actually just plain hurt... and I really just felt I should have known better.

So after having a bit of a stress and getting in a bit of a fluster, my usual style, I thought, what can I do about it? Especially now that this kind of accidental theiving is so unfortunately common? Easy. I can make my own stand, even if it's just me alone. So as of today I pledge to only post my own created image or if I share another's work, it will ALWAYS be appropriately referenced, so that if you like it, you can find where it came from and the right person gets the credit.

Anyone else going to make their own fun?

The Finish Line

I am on nightshift this weekend. One of the only good things about nightshift is that I get a glorious Friday all to myself before starting work at 10pm that night. Lately with all the running training the friday morning is taken up with a long run, which then paves the way for a very quiet book reading, movie watching nana-napping kind of an afternoon. This morning was no different, despite the ice on my next-door neighbour's roof being a massive turn off I laced my shoes for a 20km run.

So what do I do when I'm runnning, do I listen to music? No. I look around me at all the beautiful things. And I think.

This morning while running next to the ocean, along the river, underneath low flying planes near the airport, past the fancy mansions at the marina and eventually back home I spent the two hours mostly thinking about how far I have come in the past two years.

Over two years I have lost almost 18kg and have progressed from 7.5km being an epic run, to a regular 20km jaunt on the weekends, I even managed 30kms for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Yes, it has taken a long time, and no, it hasn't been easy. But I have done it.

I am only weeks away from my very first marathon now, and the thing I am starting to find the hardest is the mental fatigue. While I have become physically very strong, I am finding that my mind is beginning to waver. I constantly hover between believing I can do this and wanting to throw it all in.

The travel down memory lane that my head did this morning was very helpful. My brain reminded me that how I feel after a 25km run now, is how I felt after 14km a year ago. It reminded me that this time 12 months ago I was 7kgs heavier. It even reminded me how only just two months ago getting up at 5.30am in the middle of winter to fit in a 10km run before my girls wake up would have been unthinkable.

So I realise now, that the finish line is so close. I have come so very far, and yes it's hard, but I won't be giving up.

Colour Me Happy

Tommorrow is Luke's Birthday. He's always a bit bit blaise about it, but Birthdays have always been a huge deal to me, my Mum always made them such a special day, so every year I try to make it special for him. Tomorrow is Tuesday. Every Tuesday I work 2pm-10pm. Luke leaves for work every day at 6.30am. Tomorrow we will see each other for about five minutes. Bugger.

So tonight we did birthday dinner. I made a super tasty freeform vegetable and proccuito tart (hmmmmm maybe I should post that recipe?) with a salad, and we had his parents over to enjoy it with us. And we had birthday cake. I love birthday cake. I let the girls decorate this one. They even chose the decorations.

I have been feeling very sad lately, but today I have grinned from ear to ear. So many moments from today have made me smile. What made you smile today?